Went to SDRD practice yesterday with Mat. I miss Sam. I miss skating, and I like to go places. Shut up.

The ref crew was: Robo, Templeman, Meg, Dr Warlock, Grave Dog and some lovely new bloke from SDRD. Got there late, joined in… spent the first few jams going “Jesus… HOW good is she??!” Some amazing skaters, brilliant to watch.

Had to deal with one person being a twerp though. Sent them off for skating out of bounds. They took themselves off track wilfully, then picked up speed to get back on track… pretty much textbook right? They didn’t agree. Shouted a few bits before moping off to the box, then come the next jam they skated through the middle shouting at me again. Hopeless.

Got the two mixed teams to pick captains, spoke to them and they were so apologetic. It narks me that it’s a mixed scrim, guests from all over the country are there, and people act up like that. But hey. At least everyone else was as embarrassed about that behaviour as I was.

Great session followed by food at the Ace Cafe (chilli, cheese and chips… ERMAGERD) filled with stories of who is sleeping with whom, who has eaten their own vomit (genuine discussion) and what we all got for Christmas. And then the two hour drive home with a sleepy Mat. Ace day.

Heartlands series 2014

Sorry, what’s that? I can finally announce that I’M A DIVISIONAL HEAD REF FOR THE HEARTLANDS TOURNAMENT 2014? Well shit on me. Isn’t that a shocker?

One year in and I’m now a HR for the North East division, on a par with Metal Ed, Tre Cruel and Danger Russ. I actually cant believe it. It came from a car-conversation with Fu about how I’m fine with all the admin side of being a HR but it’s the angry-skaters-coming-into-the-middle-questioning-things side of it that throws me. His response was something along the lines of “Do it, it gets easier… oh and apply for the Heartlands please.”

So freaking excited. Already started organising things, which I LOVE and my teams seem absolutely lovely. I have: Nottingham, Wolverhampton, Vendetta Vixens, Cambridge, Oxford and Rebellion.
I already made them colour-coded files.

Check it: http://www.heartlandseries.co.uk/

Today was the first ever Brummies intraleague. It’s three days til Christmas and I’ve just finished another 10 hour shift of rolling news, picked up Mimey Vice, skated in the roller disco that runs before the CTB sessions to All I Want For Christmas Is You and I am just wanting to go home. I need to wrap the gifts that are still waiting to be wrapped, and maybe have a bath. But NO. The Brummies have other pans.

Me and Trav are down to jammer ref. OH THE JOYS. We talk about Scott Pilgrim. It’s very laid back. Yan is wearing outrageously tight leopard print leggings.

Half way through I go to drop off the points and land on my arse. Backwards. Everyone cheers. Trav shouts OH COINS. About three jams later he falls and gets concussion and has to go to A&E. It’s always a competition with Trav.

He’s fine mind. Before he leaves he tells me I levelled up today with jammer reffing. I am so hungry I barely listen. Oh and I stink. And still need to wrap gifts. And I’m working tomorrow. And xmas eve. I think reffing today was a bad idea. The Brummies did good though.


I’m blown away to announce that I have been chosen as one of the refs for the first ever Men’s Roller Derby World Cup!


Not sure whether to freak out or be massively complimented. I’ll do both. At the same time to conserve energy.

Long-time pack ref, first time jammer ref

Yesterday I jammer reffed a public bout for the first time. CCR v Wiltshire in Birmingham.

The crew was made up of me, Metal Ed, James and Vlad from Derby, Nash, Suga and Robo.

It was my first time in front of a crowd so I spent the night before and the morning of the bout reading and re reading the rules on scoring, and quizzed Ed on every possible outcome. Thankfully during the only star pass of the bout Ed was stood next to me reaffirming that THEY’RE GOOD, THEY’RE GOOD, THAT WAS A LEGAL PASS. Bloody love that guy.

Missed two things, one forearms when my jammer apparently held someone to get round them, I was looking at her feet so missed it. And one back block where I thought they weren’t hit hard enough to fall like they did… But obviously that’s not my place to say.

It felt weird. Like being brand new again. I didn’t like not being certain about my job on track. But it wasn’t awful. Just needs practice.

Finished there, then hot footed it to Bristol for the Bristol Roller Derby Christmas do, where MatLOVIN was nominated for skater of the year. I nearly spat my drink out imagining a Carrie situation. Fun times, lovely bunch.


Whilst reffing the Sheffield Steel, one girl leans over from the jam line and says “Hey… Do you not skate anymore?”.

“I’m skating right now”


The bout went well, as usual I didn’t look at the scores so was really surprised by the points differential as both teams looked well-matched. Lots of defence and half-laps before anyone was called lead. Really good game to watch and be a part of.

Also got to ref with M Dawg again which was nice. He also thinks we should be able to smile while we’re reffing… As long as we’re unbiased, we’re human, we’re gonna find awesome things awesome, and awful things awful. It seems such a foreign idea to me to have to keep a straight face all the time. I can be impartial and say hello to people I know. Plus my default facial expression is pure joy. It’s hard to relax my face.

I OPRd with M Dawg and Fu, it was a fast one and the floor was super slick so there was lots of power sliding off the side of the ref lane. I’m hoping it looked cool rather than like I had no control. Ha.

Asked for my first eval for this bout, starting as I mean to go on for 2014. Lets take this shit seriously. With a smile.