Burr-mingham

The Tyne and Fear took part in the Euro Championships. I’m a nutrition nerd. I made them noms. They liked them. This made me happy.

I was able to watch stuff and say “I wouldn’t have called it like that” with COMPLETE conviction. That was a great feeling.

I fell in love with Toulouse’s Mr Furieux, as did everyone else. I also met up with my derby wife for my birthday, and my favourite MMR girls – Terri, Ella, Moose and the lovely Dot. We drank, we danced, I amazed them with my wall squats. Good times really.

Oh and Snipes bought me a “LOL it’s your birthday!” balloon. Best. Balloon. Ever.

Then we taped Alice and Al’s door closed with skate tape.

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Reading the rules

Yeah yeah, so five years of playing the game and I’m meant to have read the rules??

Well I DID, once. Five years ago. And since then I’ve been spoilt by ref mates just telling me the answers to all my questions so I didn’t have to waste important eye-strain on things like RULES. When I could be reading HEAT Magazine.

Gotta admit it’s been a bloody revelation though. If you’re a derby girl and you don’t re-read the rules regularly, you are metaphorically ass-raping your derby career. I would have saved myself around an hour in the bin, and one ejection from a bout had I just KNOWN half of this. *points at WFTDA phone app*

I had an interview in Birmingham (didn’t get the job) on Wednesday and printed off verbal cues and hand signals to practice on the way home on the train. You can clear the seats next to you by whispering “toot toot, lead jammer” and whipping your arms out. Just FYI.

Impressed our ref squad by being eager to learn, and said after the boys team got back from Birmingham I’d be joining their team and taking on stripes til my teeth healed.

Tooth update: No root damage. Defo nerve damage though. Means I’ll need regular X-rays (every six months for the next THREE YEARS), and I’ll need to keep an eye out for lumps around my teeth or under my nose – and also for my teeth going grey. Sexy.

“Six to eight weeks”

That’s how long I need to give my teeth the dentist said, before I can even put in a mouthguard. And he was quick to follow it up with “And you should avoid getting hit in the face… forever”.

He gets what we do, he gets why I love it. But he said if I took another knock before they’ve settled I’d end up losing them. These are FRONT TEETH guys. I cant risk that.

Means I can’t play Liverpool in August, but means I should be ok for the Helsinki bootcamp.

Told the team I won’t be available to play LRB, think they were more upset for me than themselves, that’s proper team support that.

Oh, if you didn’t see, this is how my teeth looked when I dislodged them… bloody mouth a-go-go, couldn’t smile without getting a gob full of the stuff. Now they just feel twisted slightly, and SUPER painful, like they’re bruised. Still can’t bite anything harder than a banana.

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Party, Pride and Pain

Last night I had my birthday night out in Boro. I like to take two weeks to celebrate these days. I woke up in Boro. Surprised my dad by coming out of their spare room parched and whispering for coffee.

Mum drove me home. Jan = complete star. Then I hit up Gay Pride. Skated from mine to town with the girls, skated the parade and round Exhibition Park a few times, saw Holli, then came home with a rainbow lanyard and whistle… in time to head to the TAF scrim.

They’re prepping for Birmingham, I offered to help bench, but when I got there they needed a ref.

I don’t like reffing the boys. Most of them have reffed/currently ref, so I feel daft if I get things wrong. Which I do. Sven had me do Front of Pack, just pointing out when people were out of play, and calling anything else I fancied. Great introduction even though I did get some angry skaters asking why I wasn’t calling other things. But they all apologised when I scowled, so it was REET.

Got home took skates off. Feet are on FIRE. Today was not a good day for them. BUT I caught a tan skating outside 🙂

I was a sk8r girl

I started skating in September 2007. Me and my now derby wife Natalie Boxall started up a little league called the Middlesbrough Milk Rollers. First league in the North East of England, and – at the time – one of fewer than 10 in the UK.

I moved to Newcastle and joined the NRG around October 2009, when the league had just started up. I coached and then became a skater, and then Vice.

This blog is to record the changes that I’m making now. From five years as a skater, to the other side of the track, on Team Zebra.

It started on holiday in June 2012, my best friend ACCIDENTALLY kneed me in the face, dislodging two of my teeth. *voms in mouth*

It was hideous. I had to push them back in and consume nothing but chocolate milk for 24 hours. That last bit wasn’t so terrible.

When I got back to the UK I had X-rays at the dentist and was told I’d probably need root canal on the two teeth that had been knocked back, and I should look out for them going grey. Oh, and also that I shouldn’t skate for a LONG TIME. *cue tears*

The NRG had a bout the week after I got back. I couldn’t play it, but head ref Cherry Fury let me be an extra member of the bench crew – which worked to our advantage when our bench had to leave and I stepped in last minute and did a completely mediocre job of it.

At the after party Cherry said I should bench more. I said I loved it. I spoke to our bench manager, Dog and he said “Learn to ref first, you need to learn the rules” and so… I’m here.

This is the email I just sent:

Hi Sven.
I need to learn to ref. please teach me. or i’ll cry.
Sleaze.